The Tao of Dean
by iwantpie
Summary: Teen!chesters. The way of Dean Winchester. Probably the worst summary I've ever written. A little time spent in Dean's head.


A/N: Dean is 17 and Sam is 13. It's October of 1996, Dean's senior year. I'm going to go on a whim and say John didn't pull the boys out of school in the middle of the semester unless he absolutely had to. So lets just assume they at least attended a full semester at a time.

--

Dean Winchester slumped in his desk the second he sat down. He hated school more than he hated just about anything else. High school had its benefits, sure. For example, from where he sat he had a nice view of Sarah Holland's legs. She always wore short skirts and Dean was very very thankful. But the learning part of school sucked out loud. He could think of about a hundred other things he could be doing right now. Hunting with his dad being up there on the list. His lower brain ruled the top.

But school was basically useless. Most of the stuff he learned wasn't going to do him jack shit in his world. Okay, so Latin class was helpful but his teacher was beyond boring. School just wasn't his thing. It was his brother's thing. Sam always liked school and Dean just couldn't figure that one out. He thought maybe it had something to do with the fact that Sam made friends so easily and had a few years there where he didn't have to completely lie out of his ass and could actually enjoy being "normal". As normal as their family was anyway. Dean didn't have that luxury and maybe he was just a little bit jealous of his little brother. Not that he'd ever tell the little shit. They weren't getting along too well these days and Dean blamed it on puberty. For some reason, Sam was acting like a bitch about everything and that made Dean act like a prick. He didn't remember acting like that when he was Sam's age. But Dean was more astute at keeping everything close to the vest while Sam... well Sam needed to just shut the hell up sometimes.

Dean sighed. The teacher was late, as usual. He was surprised she hadn't gotten fired yet. After fifteen minutes of waiting, he usually bailed. Rachel Velasquez had track this period and probably wouldn't mind meeting him under the bleachers for a little action. Dad told him if he spent as much time paying attention in class as he did going after "the ladies", then maybe he wouldn't have to study so hard to pass his classes. Dean would just smirk at him.

_"Consider it Advanced Biology. And trust me, I'm getting an A."_

His dad would attempt a stern look but it would kind of fall flat when a smile crept up and turned into a chuckle. Sam would scoff and shake his head at him. He was 17 for crying out loud. What did they really expect?

Dean glanced at the clock. Four more minutes and he was out of there. At times when he was bored, he briefly wondered how any of them were going to pass the class, considering their teacher was only there half the time.

_Come on, two more minutes and I'm gone._

Unfortunately, that was about when the teacher burst into the room. She looked like she'd just run a marathon and several of the other students snickered at her appearance. Dean just groaned. Now he was going to have to miss out on Rachel's very talented lips. God, the things she could do. He let his head drop to his desk with a thud.

_Today officially sucks. Oh, bad choice of words there, Dean-O._

"Alright, if everyone would just-", she stopped to take a breath, "If everyone would just open up their textbooks to page, uh, page 93. Does anyone know where we left off?"

She looked completely frazzled and Dean felt a little sorry for her. He didn't know what her deal was but she seemed too old to be a crazy party-goer. He settled more into his seat and, with a grin on his face, spent the next 30 minutes coming up with wild stories of secret lives. His teacher was too out of it to realize he wasn't even paying attention.

--

Dean strode into the cafeteria, a red apple the only thing with him. When he was younger, lunch time was the pinnacle of torture. He couldn't count how many times he sat by himself. It was different now. Sure, he still didn't have many guy friends, if any really, but he always found a place to sit.

"Dean! Over here!"

Monica Bensen. She was blonde and hot. Those were two of Dean's favorite things. He may not have much luck with befriending the guys, but his charm always won over the girls. Didn't matter that he was new and lived on the shitty side of town. He had his good looks working for him. Dean was thankful for his good genes. With a devilish smirk, he walked over to the table and sat down, snagging a french fry from Monica's tray.

"Hey! You always steal my food." She pouted and, God, but it was cute.

"You like it when I steal your food."

"Whatever. So are you going to Josh's party on Friday?"

Ah. The never-ending loop of high school parties. He's made an appearance at maybe two since classes started. Dad liked him to help with hunts, especially on the weekends. It wasn't exactly the opportunity to let loose and run wild. This was his last year of high school and he wasn't going to get any other opportunities after he graduates. But, Dad needed him.

"Don't know. Might have something better to do."

Monica kind of looked at him with awe. Like how dare he rebel against the populous? Like he was too cool to care. He'd like to think he didn't. He'd like to think he was Steve McQueen.

Monica smiled at him and let her hand slide up his thigh a little. She had a look on her face like she was trying to seduce him. He wondered if she knew that she didn't have to try so hard.

"But if I'm not there, how much better could it be?"

It was a valid question and the answer was not much at all. There was no doubt that'd he'd rather be in some spare bedroom with her at some party than sneaking around all night looking for God knows what. Life was cruel that way.

"Maybe you could give me a preview of what I'd be missing." Dean leaned in closer and plastered on his most playful smirk.

"Oh, my God. Get a room you two. Some of us are trying to eat." Dean ignored the interruption and tried to go in for a kiss but Monica pulled back. He dropped his head and sighed. Denied.

"Whatever, Heather. You're just pissed I'm getting all the attention."

"Yeah, that's exactly it. I'm so jealous you're such an open door."

"God, why are you such a bitch today?"

Cat fight, Dean inwardly groaned. As much as he loved a little girl on girl no holds barred throwdown, he could think of better ways to spend the lunch period.

"Ladies, ladies. Relax. Look, Monica, I'm sure Heather's just having a bad day. Right, Heather? And Monica can't help that I'm so damn good looking."

"Whatever." Heather laughed.

"What?"

"Get over yourself, Winchester." Monica shoved him playfully. She spent the rest of lunch talking to her friends and Dean settled for her fries. Like he said before. Life was cruel.

--

Dean leaned against the Impala and folded his arms across his chest. Sam was late, as usual. He was probably still in the damn library. Dean sighed. There were two reasons his kid brother didn't get the crap beat out of him on a daily basis. The first was Dean, himself. Right away he made sure to let anyone know that if you mess with Sam, you got Dean. That usually did the trick. Dean wasn't a really big guy but he could definitely hold his own. It didn't hurt that he had been trained by an ex-Marine. Sam was scrawny as hell but he was taller than most kids his age. That was number two. He was growing like a freaking weed and Dean was starting to think his assessment of always being the bigger brother was going to be proven wrong. And man did that burn his ass. It was against the laws of sibling-hood or something. But, as much as Sam got on his nerves sometimes, he was still his little brother and he'd do anything for him.

That included kicking his ass.

Dean looked at his watch again and was about to storm in there and drag Sam out when the kid finally came out the doors.

"About time!" Dean yelled across the distance.

"Shut up. The teacher needed me to stay after."

"Ahh, a little hot for teacher huh?" Sam was only thirteen and Dean realized he was probably a bad influence when it came to the female persuasion.

"Dude, gross. She's like 80." Sam's face scrunched in disgust as he and Dean got in the car.

"Probably doesn't have any teeth to get in the-"

"Dean!" Sam finally let out a chuckle. "Knock it off, man. Or I'll throw up in the car."

Dean's face lost all amusement. "You do, and I'll kick your ass."

"Whatever. Like you haven't already done worse in the backseat." Sam shuddered, much to Dean's amusement.

"Heh. Good times."

"Yeah, well I wonder what dad would do if he knew-"

"You're such a little narc." Dean chuckled. "Besides, he can probably already guess. It's not like he thinks I'm taking my dates to the malt shop for milkshakes and hand holding."

"You're so perverse."

"You're so virginal." Sam's face flushed with embarrassment. "Don't worry, Sammy. One day you'll be a man."

"It's Sam. And shut up."

"Aw, is little Sammy embarrassed?" Sam punched his arm hard and Dean punched him back.

"Ow! Dickweed!"

"You hit me first, dude. Suck it up."

Sam huffed and settled into his seat more.

"You hunting with dad this weekend?"

"Why? Got a hot date?" Sam rolled his eyes, smiling at him.

"Is that all you think about?"

"No. I think about all kinds of things. Just this morning I was thinking up new ways to annoy you."

"Funny. You didn't answer my question."

"I figured it was a stupid question considering the answer's so obvious."

"I heard there was a party this weekend." Dean looked over at him, incredulous.

"And how do you know about any party?"

"Just because you think I'm some kind of socially tragic geek doesn't mean everyone else does. My friend's older brother is throwing the party. It's supposed to be cool. Asked if I wanted to come."

"Yeah, cause dad's gonna let that happen. Especially if I'm not going."

"You don't have to go hunting with him, you know."

"Dad needs me."

"No, he doesn't. Dad's been hunting alone for years. He can manage just fine without you. You should go to the party."

Sam didn't know it, but he'd hit a sore spot and Dean scowled.

"Screw the damn party. You think those kids would like you so much if they knew who you really were? If they knew all the lies you tell?"

"We wouldn't have to lie so much if dad was normal and got a real job!"

"He's got a real job." Dean ground out. "A more important job than any of those other normal dads."

"Why do you hate normal so much?"

_Because it ain't ever gonna happen, Sammy._ Not for him. Not for their dad. Didn't matter how much he wanted it sometimes. You can't pretend to not know what they know. As much as Dean wanted to just settle into one place and not worry about what the dark holds, he knows he truly can't. He's in too deep now. He can't just turn his back and let people die. Not when he knows he might be able to do something about it. Just like Dad can't.

"There's nothing special about normal." Dean shrugged, attempting indifference. It was kind of hard with the internal battle going on in his head. This was one of those times when Sam needed to shut the hell up.

Sam stared at him, doing that freaky thing he did with his eyes like he was trying to see inside Dean's head. It annoyed him and made him squirm.

"Sometimes, boring old normal would be nice for a change."

"Live a little, Sammy."

"For the last time, it's-"

"Sam. Yeah, I know. I just conveniently forget to annoy you."

"Whatever. So about that party."

"Ugh. Shut up, Sam."

Dean turned on the radio and cranked the volume, effectively ending any conversation.

--

Dean couldn't really believe it. Sam really had a set on him, he'll give him that. He knew dad would never let Sam go to that party without him but he was asking him anyway. And, by the sound of it, not taking no for an answer either. Dad was one step away from blowing his top. Dean groaned. So much for a relaxing evening.

"Why not?!"

"Because I said so, dammit. That's the end of it, Sam."

"No, I want a real reason. Not lame bullshit."

"You watch that mouth."

"Come on, dad! I'm 13!"

"Exactly! You're too young to be going to parties by yourself."

"That's a load of bull-"

"I'm warning you-"

"Dean was handling guns before he was 10 and I can't go to a party with my friends? That's not fair!"

"Sam, enough!"

"I hate you." With that, Sam stomped out of the kitchen. John rested his hands on the back of a chair and dropped his head. The kid was going to be the death of him.

Sam walked into their shared bedroom, slammed the door shut and began to pace.

"Way to be a total drama queen. Did you honestly expect him to let you go when all you do is cop an attitude?" Sam turned on him and scowled.

"Well, excuse me for not being a robot like you."

"Hey! Back it up there, princess. Don't get pissed at me because dad won't let you go to some stupid party."

"If you'd just tell him that you wanted to go-"

"He'd say no. End of story, Sam. Get over it."

Sam sucked in a breath and his lips formed a tight line but he didn't say anything else. Dean knew he just pissed him off more. There wasn't much he could do about that.

--

Dean spent the next day effectively avoiding any conversation that involved a party. After his argument with Sam in the car and later that evening, he was going to rip someone's head off if they asked him if he was going just one more time. Dad had already told him this morning that he wanted him to come along tonight. It was just a salt and burn but Dean was eager to go. He was eager to please his dad. He was getting better at digging graves and it shown in his developing arms. Dean smirked. An added plus was that the girls really liked it. Nothing wrong with having more than one incentive.

It wasn't that he didn't want to go to the party, because he really did. It was an excuse to get laid. Not that he really needed one. He was also a little curious as to why Sam wanted to go. His little brother had never expressed any interest in that sort of thing before. He was more the type to keep his head buried in a book. He couldn't figure out why Sam was making such a big deal out of this. Dean sighed. He just wanted this day to be over so he could get down to business with his dad.

--

Dean had raced to his car once the final bell rang and picked up Sam. They didn't say much to each other but Dean had other things on his mind to care much about Sam's pissy attitude. Dean couldn't keep his excitement locked down and walked through the door with a big smile on his face. It may have been a little twisted, but he liked hunting. He liked the satisfaction of kicking some evil ass and saving innocent people. It made him feel kind of awesome.

John looked up from his books when he heard the door open. Sam, predictably, went straight to their room while Dean immediately sat across from his dad.

"So, when do we leave?" John shook his head.

"We don't." Deans face dropped. "Drove up there earlier and the place was crawling with cops. Grave desecrations."

"Another hunter?"

"No," John grumbled, "just some stupid kids. Now, thanks to them, we're gonna have to wait a few days until it's safe to go back."

"But what about-"

"I'm gonna drive up there tonight and keep an eye on things."

"I could-"

"No. Not necessary." Dean watched his dad for a moment, as he seemed to be contemplating something.

"Dad, what is it?" John looked up and gave him a small smile.

"I think I'm gonna regret this but I think you should go with Sam to that party." Dean snorted.

"You're kidding, you're caving?!"

"It's not caving. If you go with him, I can insure you'll both behave." John looked at him pointedly and Dean feigned shock.

"Moi? Misbehave?"

"I'm not that old that I don't remember what goes on at high school parties. Keep an eye on him."

"It's not like he's gonna jump into an orgy, dad. Kid still turns beat red whenever a girl even comes near him."

"I'm not worried about _him_." Dean quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, I promise not to participate in any orgies. Geez, dad. What kind of animal do you think I am?"

John just smiled at Dean's dramatics. "A 17 year old one." Dean opened his mouth to refute but promptly closed it and shrugged. "Go tell your brother. Maybe he'll stop glaring at me like he's trying to will my death."

Dean frowned. "He doesn't hate you, dad. He's just-"

"A teenager?" They shared a smile.

"We're a complex species." John laughed.

"Get out of here."

Dean chuckled and trotted his way to his and Sam's room. He found his brother laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Dean leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tell me why you wanna go to this party." Sam just sighed.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I say it does. Now spill."

"I just- Look it doesn't matter. Really."

"You wanna go, you better tell me." Sam perked up at that and sat up in bed.

"You talked dad into letting me go?" Not exactly, but that was something Sam was more likely to believe.

"I'm awesome, I know. Seriously, you never gave a rats ass about parties before. What's changed?"

"Promise not to laugh at me."

"Fat chance there."

"Dean."

"Sam."

"Ugh, fine! It's a girl, okay. I like this girl and she's gonna be there." Dean's face nearly split in two.

"So little Sammy's finally growing up. Shit, where's a camera. I need to document this."

"Dean! Knock it off. This is serious."

"Absolutely. So what's her name?" He couldn't help but tease Sam a little. This was the first time his brother had expressed any interest in the opposite sex. He was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with the kid.

"Amanda. She's 14 and she's really smart."

"Who cares about smart. Is she hot?" Sam smiled that goofy smile that Dean remembered having once upon a time. Ah, innocence.

"She's... cute."

"Is that code for 'she's beautiful on the inside'?"

"No!" Sam laughed. "She's pretty. Even you'd think so."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"C'mon, Dean. We both know you only care about looks."

"Hey, I resent that. I look for plenty of other qualities."

"Name two that don't involve looks."

Crap.

"Uh. Her laugh! It can't sound like a hyena on helium. And, uh, she's got to have personality."

"Okay, first of all, the first one isn't really a quality as much as it's a quirk. And the only thing you care about personality wise is if she's loose. Kind of brings my point home."

Okay, now he really did resent that. "You really don't want to go to this party, do you?"

"Deeaan!"

"What? You just insulted me and I think my feelings are hurt." This caused Sam to snort.

"Now who's the girl? Should we hug?"

"Shuddap." Dean reached his hand out to smack the back of Sam's head but Sam was quicker and ducked, laughing.

"So are we going?"

"Yeah, we're going."

"Yes!"

"Don't get too excited. You might bust something."

"I got shower first!" Sam took off and Dean just shook his head. The party didn't even really start for another few hours. Sam was going to drive him insane until then. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

--

When Sam got out of the bathroom, Dean was sitting at the table reading a hot rod magazine and John was on the couch sifting through notes. Dean looked up and smirked at his brother.

"All finished up there, princess? You know, the longer you stay in there isn't gonna make you any less ugly."

Before Sam could defend himself, John piped in.

"Dean, stop teasing your brother," John said, in a bored tone. Sam smiled, triumphantly. The little reprimand didn't bother Dean in the slightest.

"You leave any hot water?"

"No, but a cold shower might do you some good." An abrupt laugh erupted from John.

"You're hilarious." Dean's tone was even and there was a scowl on his face. "You sure I can't go with you?" Dean asked his dad. John shook his head and smiled.

"I'd take advantage of this while you can. If it weren't for the circumstances, neither of you would be going."

"What circumstances? I thought you said you talked dad into letting us go?" John looked to his oldest, eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face.

"Talked me into it?" As if anyone could talk John Winchester into anything.

Dean looked pointedly at Sam before looking back at his dad, shrugging. "I didn't say that, he did. Who was I to correct him?"

"Look, either way, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Dean. You're to behave yourself and stay out of trouble. No alcohol. That goes for you too, Dean." Sam nodded, not that he would've anyway, but Dean's shoulders slumped slightly.

"Yes, sir." Both spoke, though Dean was less enthusiastic. Dean pushed himself away from the table and went to their bedroom, Sam on his heels.

"It's official. This will be the lamest party ever."

--

Dean parked the Impala, pulled the keys out of the ignition, but didn't move to get out. Sam had his hand on the door handle, ready to jump out, when he noticed Dean hadn't moved yet.

"Dean? You coming?"

"In a sec. I wanna lay down some of my own rules first." This caused Sam to groan.

"Man, come on. You're not serious?"

"Hey, I'm not getting in trouble with dad because you accidently get loaded." Sam's brow furrowed. "Do not, under any circumstances, take a drink from someone. Get it yourself. If you set it down and have your eyes off it for even a second, get a new one."

"Dean, this is ridiculous. I'm a guy. We don't have to worry about that sort of thing."

"With that hair, it's hard to tell."

"Whatever." Sam started to get out when Dean grabbed his arm.

"We go in together. And I'm serious, Sam. I know those guys in there and they can be dicks. They'll spike your drink just for shits and giggles. We screw this up and neither of us be allowed out again until we're too old to care. You want that?"

"All right. I'll be careful. What are you gonna be doing?" Dean wiggled his eyebrows. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

When they got inside, Sam immediately spotted his friend and went over to him, leaving Dean standing by the door with his hands in his pockets. He surveyed the people around him, finally locking eyes with Monica. He smiled when she hurried over to him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her body to his.

"You came," she purred.

"Maybe later." This caused her to giggle.

"You're so bad." Oh yeah, he was getting laid tonight._ You're on your own, Sammy._

--

An hour later, Dean stepped out of a spare bedroom, Monica on his heels. She had his hand in hers and he didn't seem to mind that. They weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, not really. But he liked her. She wasn't as dumb as she let on and they had some pretty cool conversations. She knew they weren't exclusive but he could tell that's what she wanted. He supposed it wouldn't be a bad thing. He's had a couple of girlfriends before. The only trouble with having one is knowing you're going to leave eventually. He knew that while dad tried to keep them in one school as long as he could, they'd eventually be on the road again to another town in another state, starting all over. He didn't want her to get too attached. But, most of all, _he_ didn't want to get too attached. Saying good-bye sucked and he already knew he'd miss this girl.

They squeezed their way down the packed stairs, getting a few looks. One guy gave Dean a thumbs up like a total douche so Dean flipped him off. He may lie to girls a lot but he didn't disrespect them. So he'd gotten laid. That was his business. And maybe Sam's if Dean felt like embarrassing him.

Speaking of Sam, it was probably time he checked on him. He wondered how his kid brother faired with his crush. Dean looked around but couldn't find him.

"Hey, do you see my brother anywhere?" Monica craned her neck to look around but shook her head.

"I'm sure he's fine. Let's get a drink." Dean shook his head, apology written on his face.

"I promised my dad I'd look after him. Ten minutes." He wasn't asking and he didn't wait for her answer. Once he made his way through the house and still hadn't found Sam, he started to worry.

_I swear to God, he better be in a closet somewhere making out or I'm gonna kill him._

He finally spotted Sam's friend and asked the kid if he'd seen him. He said he thought he saw him go outside, alone. A twinge of worry tugged at Dean's gut. He couldn't help it. It was dark and they were both unarmed. Dad told him to always be prepared and he was cursing himself for letting Sam talk him out of brining his knife.

_Relax, dude. You're acting like a freak. He's fine._

Dean stopped, his hand on the door knob._ And if he is, you're kicking his ass._

He walked carefully towards the back, holding his breath. Everyone else was inside the house_. Thank God. If anyone saw me creeping around back here they'd think I was some kind of psycho. Okay, quit talking to yourself and focus._

What he found when he rounded the garage was his little brother laying on a small grassy hill, staring at the stars. Dean screwed up his face and kicked his brothers shoe.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"What?" Sam asked, barely looking Dean's way. He sounded like a kicked puppy.

"You're supposed to stay inside," Dean replied, lamely.

"That wasn't one of your rules." Smartass.

"Okay, what's up? What happened with what's her name? Mandy."

"Amanda. And you could ask her but it'll be a little hard with Brian Spencer's face in the way."

Well that explained it. Dean sighed and sat down next to Sam. He was going to have to deal with his first heartbreak sooner or later. He didn't really want to have this conversation, as it went against his rule of no chick flick moments, but talking about girls with your brother was part of the job. He'd already given Sam the sex talk, much to their dad's annoyance. Dean got "the talk" from dad, he wasn't going to put Sam through that awkward and embarrassing conversation. Besides, that's what older brothers are for. But it was times like this that he really missed his mom. He bet she'd be great at this sort of thing.

"Blew you off, huh?"

"I didn't think she was like that. They're not all like that, are they?"

"Not all of them."

"I really liked her."

"Don't let it get you down, Sammy. There's plenty more out there. You're not even in high school yet, dude."

"I know. I just feel so stupid. I shouldn't have to come to this stupid party."

"First of all, you're lucky you got to come at all."

"Yeah, I know. Dad-"

"I'm not talking about dad. Dude, you're an eighth grader and this is a high school party. Consider yourself one of the elite." Dean thought for a moment, something coming to him. "Hey, isn't Brian Spencer a sophomore?"

Sam nodded. "Amanda's a freshman." Dean raised his eyebrows, a look a pride on his face.

"An older woman huh? I knew that was your kink. So I was right about that teacher of yours. Heh."

"Ugh, dude, that's not even funny. I think I'm scarred for life now."

"Embrace your fetish. Become one with- oomph!" Dean rubbed his stomach where Sam had elbowed him. "You're so gonna pay for that. Later. When you least expect it."

"I'm shaking with fear."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Wanna get out of here?"

"Absolutely."

Dean stood up and offered Sam a hand. Before he could take it, Dean whipped it away, smiling. Sam shook his head, a small laugh escaping.

He said his good-byes to Monica for several minutes before Sam cleared his throat for the second time. He told her he'd see her Monday, even though she asked him to call. They weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Not really. Probably not ever. Eventually, he'd break her heart. Maybe even his a little too.

In the end, it was just one high school party. They're never supposed to mean anything. One look at his brother's solemn face, he knows this one did. Wasn't much he could do about that. But, he did the only thing he could do. He wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders, grumbled about his height, and made him laugh. It was a day in the life of Dean Winchester. Nothing he couldn't handle.

End.


End file.
